Inner Monologue

I really enjoy the online series “Subway Takes” and if I were ever on it, my hottest take would be: “bring back dress codes and getting dressed up to go out.” I cannot tell you the amount of times in the last 5 or so years I have gone out to a nice restaurant on a Saturday in the city and seen people dressed like absolute shit. I’m talking hoodies and sneakers at Michelin restaurants (seriously). It infuriates me because it is so disrespectful to the restaurant and your fellow diners, all of whom have put in effort to make the evening an elevated and enjoyable experience, and you’re sitting there with an outfit that says “I couldn’t be bothered and I don’t care.” I tend to see more extreme versions of this from men, so thank you Silicon Valley Tech Bros for teaching people that looking like a slob is now the new power dressing. (Honestly, at this point wearing a suit seems delightfully anti-establishment, a middle finger to the prevailing trend of ugliness.) If you go to a nice or “trendy” place, then you are there in part because the restaurant has put in effort to cultivate a good aesthetic and atmosphere (that you have sought out) and it is your role to select an outfit that fits in with that. No one is making you go there, so if you don’t want to do the bare minimum and put on a collared shirt or a sweater is simply too much for you, then great, go to some other type of establishment and fuck off.

With women it tends to be more of an issue of boring outfits or just being slightly under-dressed, because at least women have some sense of decency that society has forced upon us; we could never get away with that shit. But, ladies, I challenge you: have some fun with your clothes! It’s really not that serious and life becomes better when you get dressed up for the little things. In a post-lockdown world, what are you saving all your good outfits for? Every day you live is a fucking occasion! So if you’re going out with friends or a date or whatever, put in a little more effort, even if it’s just for yourself. I promise, you will feel better about yourself and have a better time knowing that you made it that much more special. Wear something a bit daring or different or avant-garde! It’s only dinner, ffs.